Today’s post isn’t going to be anger and jealousy filled as it was in the last post. I think that I’ve semi gotten over the fact that I can never be him no matter what I do, because I am me and also because I enjoy being me on most days.
I had a conversation with him a couple of nights ago and asked him what his reaction would be if I were to tell him that I was jealous of him. He gave me his classic ‘what the fuck’ look and replied with this: “I’d say: don’t be silly.”
On hindsight, I shouldn’t have left the conversation there, and I should have probed more. It’d be nice to know the rationale behind his response and whether he’d want to know what I was jealous about.
But seeing as it turned out as such, I’ll take it as a sign from the Lord above that I am indeed being silly for being jealous of him and not appreciating myself enough.
I can only hope that with this realisation, I will only move forward to better days of more self-appreciation and no jealousy.
Anyways, I hope you’re doing well. It’s freezing up here in Lancaster, and I’ve been making attempts to go running although they’ve been pathetic attempts. Also, I’m performing next Friday as part of the Ballet Society!?!?
Never ever would’ve pinned myself down for dancing or performing, and needless to say, I’m stressing about it.
Wish me luck!
Your fave asian!