Sorry for the lack of updates, I don’t have an excuse as to why that is so but I’m back anyway!
Lent season has now passed and Jesus has again risen from the dead and given us a fresh start (if I’m not wrong). So how are you going to start afresh?
Over lent, I attempted to give up alcohol and chocolate, both attempts being very unsuccessful but for different reasons. Giving up chocolate was hard because I do love a good chocolate bar on a stressful day, and I quite easily succumbed to the temptation. However, it was a different case with alcohol.
You know me, I’m not big on drinking, I tend to lean towards binge eating and watching soaps in my bed. So during the season of lent, I thought, that would be such an easy thing to give up, but it proved difficult right from the start because my flatmates had a big night out and I opted not to go least I get tempted into drinking, so I stayed in. The second time round, three of us went out and I successfully did not drink, it was a good night but the experience was slightly painful because being sober in a nightclub filled with plenty of drunk people wasn’t all that fun (for reasons that I’m sure you yourself can understand). After that, friends from all places kept talking about going out and I had to turn them down because I wasn’t drinking. But that soon changed one fateful Saturday night after going to a house party with my seminar mates (law squad goals) and I decided that I was going to break my promise to God and drink, and everything went downhill from that point onwards.
But yes, the temptation to drink was greater than the temptation to eat chocolate because I linked alcohol to my social life. Drinking seemed to be the outlet for conversation and friendship so I decided against God, the only one person/thing that would never forget or leave me, for people whom in a blink of an eye could suddenly turn on me.
But the bigger picture is that it shows that I too (quite like you), very much wants to be included in things, I want to feel wanted and part of a group/clique. It’s a very normal thing in life to feel like that, I felt like that throughout my years in Ellesmere, and I still feel this desire to be wanted even now that I’m in uni! It’s an awful feeling but then the saving grace in this giant ball of mess is that you already have friends that love you and will be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t text or see them everyday! Also, friends come and go, so even though you worry about being left out now, in the near future, more amazing people will come into your life to fill up the gaps and make you feel whole again while those who maybe aren’t so amazing will leave!
So chin up and charge the mountain Fash!
Your fave asian!
PS I apologise for the long-winded post, I don’t have a knack for writing so I tend to waffle on a lot! But I hope the message still gets across!