Its blessed May, where the Lord himself has granted educators the power of imposing exams on students, claiming that it’s purpose is to assess our skills and knowledge when in reality, it’s punishment for being happy and unemployed while they’ve moved on to adulthood, where they have to work to get paid.
Exam season has been rather interesting so far, my feelings of jealousy toward Ireland is still there, but it wasn’t as violent as it was at the start of term. In fact, I’d even say that our friendship is growing gradually, although I think the both of us know deep down that we don’t have much in common to make this friendship last for a lifetime. I don’t say this out of pessimism at all, I’m stating this as a matter of fact – in the past week, we’ve been on two walks together, and for the most of the walks, the conversations topics never stayed, they changed rapidly and if not, it was a silenced walk until someone could find something to say.
So, the attempt to ‘bond’ (as I would call it) was really more a waking up call to the reality that there are some things in life that I can’t force – no matter what I do, I cannot force myself to be best friends with Ireland, so c’est la vie.
On a happier note, I’ve managed to spend more time with some of the people upstairs whom I really do enjoy being around with, which is great because when I’m with them I feel like I could be the silly, insecure and over-thinking me, and even though I’m sure that it annoys them how I can be, I am still glad that I can still be me and feel loved for who I am even if I’m not classed as their “main bitch” but their “sideline bitch”. So there’s the silver lining found!
Also, during this very very intense exam season, I’ve managed to entertain myself from my temporary loss of sanity (which no one in my flat seems to think is funny) which consisted of me (a) falling face flat on the floor while I was attempting a leg stretch and, (b) bursting out into a laughing fit for no apparent reason whilst I was studying.
I’m definitely going delirious, but that really isn’t a bad thing though.
I hope you’re keeping well and that there is rain in London just like there is here, because the heat and sun was really starting to dampen my mood (because as we all know, I hate the sun and heat, but love the dark and cold).
Your fave asian!