Strange Monthly Affairs

Dear Fash,

Merry Christmas!

I know that I’m a couple of days late, but since Christmas lasts for 12 days, I’m not technically late in sending my well wishes am I?

I always find December and January really strange months. It’s got all sorts thrown into it: the festivities during the run-up to Christmas day i.e. the end of the school term, gift-buying and food shopping; followed by the dull-ness during the period after Christmas and before the new year; then again the excitement for new years eve, after which, on new years day, a state of confusion over what year it is, and despair over the demise of yet another year. Then comes spending all of January trying to adapt to the new year and wishing that 2016 hadn’t passed because you start to miss it so much since you’ve made all those wonderful memories then.

So as the new year is coming (tomorrow), I’m trying to mentally brace myself for yet another year of life that will be so full of transitions. A lot of which I’m not ready to handle.

In this coming year, come end of June, I will have ‘lost’ some really amazing friends. No, I’m not saying that we’ll stop being friends, what I mean is that they’re all leaving university thus, leaving me behind while they go off to fend for themselves in the real world of work.

Also, again it’s another year of uncertainty in that maybe or maybe not (touch wood though) that my gran may be taken by Our Father to finally rest in peace. I don’t know, but theres always that possibility right?

So much more to say, but I’ll stop here. Dwelling about things that are yet to happen will probably make my brain explode sooner rather than when the event happens itself.

So there, I’ve attempted to brace myself mentally for 2017 (to a certain degree at least).

Such odd periods these are for us all.

Good luck in 2017 Fash!

Much love,

Your fave asian.

 

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The friend effect

Dear Fash,

Since the start of term, Ireland and I have become better friends – I definitely do not hold back with my thoughts and words with him as much as I used to. We’ve reached a nice, comfortable level in our friendship, but I’m starting to wonder whether it is too comfortable of a position in our friendship.

Last year, I was unhappy because I always felt that I wasn’t good enough to be his friend, yet, now that we’ve become (better) friends, I still feel unhappy about myself – and not because I feel like I’m not good enough to be his friend, because evidently I am good enough, if not even more.

The problem lies in my god-given ability to pick out things I don’t like in people and then bitch about it for hours on end, even if they don’t even do anything to harm or annoy me. I just seem to have the knack for being a horrible person.

This fits in with Ireland because now that we’ve established some-what solid grounds for friendship, I’ve started to bitch about the smallest of things to him, it’s like the plague, I just can’t stop. What’s bad about this is that I can easily chat absolute trash about someone that has treated me as their good friend right from day one.

That surely can’t be a good thing, it’s normal to rant about your friends every once in a while, but surely it isn’t healthy to pick out something from nothing and then bitch about it non-stop.

Although, to cut myself some slack, I haven’t actually bitched. All I said was “Oh, Kat can be quite boring on a night out because she blatantly makes it obvious that she’s doing the same dance moves over and over again.” Still, for some reason this makes me feel like a horrible person – saying something negative, even in the smallest of ways can still make me feel like a bitch.

So yes, isn’t it fascinating how not having Ireland as a friend was awful in that I felt left-out, but having him as a friend has boosted my tendencies to be a bitch. I can’t ever win with myself can I.

Sending out an SOS to anyone that can help me.

Much love,

your fave asian