Dear Fash,

Lately, I’ve been having troubles controlling my feelings of anxiety. I’d warrant them as anxiety issues, but I don’t think that labelling my constant anxiousness as a problem in the mental health sense would be fair to those that actually suffer anxiety on a daily basis.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been getting sporadic and random panic attacks, and I use ‘random’ in it’s fullest meaning – they come unexpected and I can’t explain to you why I get them. That is unless it is Wednesday pre-netball training sessions, in which, yes, I do get weekly panic attacks prior to training because of the fact that I still know no one in the team, and also because I’m shit at playing the sport. Otherwise, they just come when and as they please.

I certainly don’t think thats normal considering the level of activity that I’m doing: I run, play netball and squash, and once in a while do zumba. So, I am healthy, I try to eat the right foods, giving myself the odd treat every now and then (everyday); I exercise and I am generally happy, thus according to the world wide web of self-help websites and anti-anxiety and/or anti-depression pages, I shouldn’t (really) be having sporadic panic attacks since I’ve virtually taken every approach I can possibly take to prevent anxiety or feeling low. Yet, I am.

Take this very post for example: I’m writing this whilst having a panic attack over nothing. Panic just washed over me, and now I’m trapped in this situation where I don’t know what to do with myself because I’m too panicky to do my work or to focus on a movie, making it hard either to relax or be productive.

So until the panic fades out by itself, I’m just going to sit here and stare into blank space since it’s too awful outside to go for a run/walk.

Hope London is treating you well!

Your fave asian