Dear Fash,

My second person of observation is James, a ridiculously tall and ginger bearded 21-year-old who has a knack for humour. He’s such a great guy, all I ever see him do is smile, laugh and crack jokes.

I don’t speak to him much since he is never really in the kitchen, but we’ve always been able to have small conversations often revolving around the subject of food, and a bit of banter here and there (at least what I would consider to be banter – my catchphrase to him goes “no one even likes you!”).

We had our usual conversation about food again just now, and I decided to ask him what his theory on life is. He replied:

When I make others happy, then I’m happy.

So make others happy!

I then asked James, “what if you become unhappy from making others happy?” He replied:

I don’t know, I always am happy when I make others happy.

This stunned me because I’m the opposite to James. Most times, attempting to make others happy ultimately ends up in me feeling upset and used since the other party doesn’t seem to reciprocate, whereas James seems to see happiness as a one-way street of giving and not receiving. Here lies the distinction between James and myself:

he is in control of his happiness whereas I’m dependant on others to give me my happiness.

The takeaway message here is to be in control of your happiness, so for me, it would be to give without expectations of reciprocation…

This is some scary shit, because I’m not sure whether I’ll ever get to a point where I’m happy to give without wanting to receive. But I guess we all have to start somewhere and this post may very well be the start.

Wish me luck,

Your fave asian!


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